Screaming in Silence

Pain, ripping flesh, breaking bones, searing flames of agony.
This isn’t torture. It’s my normal.
Tears flow down swollen cheeks to meet the pool gathered on my pillow. How many more nights will this flare last?
The drill in my ear, pressure building. Electric shocks through my jaw. Someone stop it.
Turn off the power. Cut the nerve. Rescue me. I’m dying. Please help me.

I wrote that poem in the middle of a flare up of the neuralgias I love with. They are always constant, but some days they flare so bad I cannot function. It’s unbelievably frustrating. The pain is beyond what the human body should have to endure. 10 days to surgery. I am so ready for this to be done!

~Kristen

Too Much

I guess I was just too much. Too loving. Too strong. Too resilient. Some people don’t like that. Some people can’t handle that.

I guess I was just too much. Too much woman for a small minded man. Too strong for a weak man. Too much of myself for a man still searching for himself.

I guess I was just too much. Too outspoken. Too opinionated. Too loud. Too bold. Too powerful. Too much.

I guess I was just too much for the man unaware of my offerings. I guess I was just too much for the man too blind to see my beauty. I guess I was just too much for the man too stuck in the past to live in the present moment. I guess I was just too much for the man afraid of the future.

At Her Core

Deep inside, a feeling, a longing to belong.

At the center of her being, a sad and lonely song.

A shattered sense of self.

A lost and broken girl.

Wildly seeking something.

A reason to go on.

Aching and burning, that reason doesn’t come.

An empty core is left, her heart is on the run.

via Daily Prompt: Core

Kismet? Or Something Else?

Mesmerized by his eyes

and the dark side that he hides.

His words, like honey, flow through my brain.

Sweet and full of substance.

Never an empty word.

He fills the spaces with thoughts to ponder.

He sends my mind reeling to another dimension.

I become a dreamer and find myself mystified by his nature.

He is something I have never experienced.

I just want to know him on every level.

I want to explore the human condition with him.

He sends this energy through me with written word.

I cannot understand this.

Who is this man?

What is his purpose for me?

~Kristen Ruchalski

10/20/2017

You Stayed 

You stayed with her, but don’t get confused. 

Somehow you found a way to stay with me too. 

Sure, she has you in the physical sense. 

But your memory, oh boy, it hasn’t left. 

Each car I pass at midnight has headlights just like yours. 

Every song on the radio takes me back, and every emotion pours. 

Out from my heart, up from my soul, down my cheeks, out of control. 

©2017

This Place 

I came to get some peace and quiet, perhaps a calming release. 

But all I have found is sadness in all these memories. 

We used to meet for a stolen kiss, a long embrace, and a chat. 

Now these trees whisper your voice, and I’m not not sure I can handle that. 

How did you mark this place and force it to hold you here? 

Retelling all the memories like daggers in my ear?

©2017

Lust

Life isn’t always what it seems. 

She’s not the woman of his dreams. 

She cannot break free of her past. 

The thoughts, the urges, who knows if this will last. 


She never was the girl next door. 

And they all just keep coming back for more. 

Leave her alone, she wants to change. 

Stop tempting her with lustful rage. 

~Kristen