So I just went through a break up. And let me tell ya, it wasn’t pretty. Just like many of us women (and some men) deal with regularly, he called me several vulgar names. They were slightly painful coming from someone who claimed to love me, but I have a pretty thick skin after years of being slut shamed. But it made me think. Why is it when a man is hurt or angry with a woman he resorts to insulting her genitals or sexual escapades?
Y’all do realize your grandmas had sex right? I mean science, and common sense, let us know many generations ago that sex was pretty necessary for the survival of the species. I mean, we have to have sex.
Sure, we could only have sex for procreation. But don’t these men want sex often? I mean that’s why the adult film industry does so well, is it not? I’ve heard that men will cheat if their women won’t give it up. So we, as a species, have sex. And if Billy Bob wants to go get laid, well that’s his prerogative. But unless he’s banging Jimbo, he’s going to need a vagina to complete his sex act. Am I right?
So if Kelly wants to have consensual sex with Billy Bob, it’s all great. Except he will most likely call her a slut later on. Especially if she has sex with Jimbo even a year later. And now in that time, Billy Bob has had sex with many women. But he’s just a guy. And that’s OK, right? But Kelly, well she’s just a horrible specimen of a human being because she chose to share a sexual experience with more than one person.
Let’s say Kelly didn’t have sex with Billy Bob and he’s all butt hurt over it. You know he will probably go and tell his buddies she’s a whore anyway. And they will believe him. Because we all know that a man’s word is always trusted more than a woman’s.
At 13, I was slut shamed. I was called a lesbian whore. Well I was a virgin. Complete virgin. No men, no women. No partners period. But all because one person opened their mouth and spewed lies, I was called names. I don’t recall now who or why, I just know it happened and it led to years of self esteem issues. And 21 years later, the man I thought I was going to marry called me names all because I let him know how I felt about issues in our relationship.
So what starts in childhood from the mean boys continues into adulthood from weak men. Face the facts that all people are entitled to the consensual sex of their choosing. Sex acts don’t determine a person’s worth. But your choice of words can make a woman’s self worth plummet.