Lost in a Sea of Words
As I trudge through this recovery process, what I once thought was a normal part of recovery, I've now learned is something permanent. That realization is soul crushing. There aren't words to describe what it has done to my spirit. As a graduate student of psychology, I am fully aware of the implications of what …
***Content warning: x-ray images of my head! May be disturbing for some. It's almost 3 am and I'm still awake. As I try to sleep, I'm reminded that I'm never going to be normal again. Not the normal I had. Here is my new normal. Incisions itch as they heal, even months later. Hair takes …
I am not okay. I have pushed myself too hard and too fast. I have tried pretending that I am okay and I'm not. I need to face that reality before I end up doing more damage to my already weak and broken body. Fact is, I went through hell and I'm not allowing myself …
Staring at the blinking cursor on the screen, I cannot, for the life of me, remember why I labeled a previous post "part 1".... I haven't the foggiest idea why or where I intended to go with part 2. But I guess my lack of memory fits, doesn't it? I feel like today has been …
Continue reading "Life After Brain Surgery: Memory (Part 2)"
I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. I don't know what is what anymore. I can't go back to the old me. I've grown and changed through my experiences. So I can't go back to that girl. But this woman I've become seems …
Dear Diary, I've been in a really low place lately. I'm mad at myself for missing a day of writing. But yesterday I was so damn emotional. I cried for hours. This stupid depression is serious. Last night I couldn't take it anymore. I feel so alone sometimes. I know I've been through some tough …
I cried again tonight. This time for something that I realized had been happening and what I realize is happening now. So the period of time that I struggled for answers to my health problems was about 3 and a half years. It was June 16, 2015 that I woke up with a headache that …
Continue reading "Life After Brain Surgery: Memory (Part 1)"
As I mentioned in my last post, sometimes we go through things we don't understand so that we can help someone else with their struggles. Since I was diagnosed with trigeminal neuralgia (and later glossopharyngeal neuralgia), I found several support groups on Facebook. It was incredibly helpful for me to interact with others who were …
Well I missed a day of writing. I had set a goal to write a post every day but I missed a day. Oh well. I have to give myself a break. I am allowed days of rest. I am allowed to lay in bed and veg out watching mindless television or teen dramas on …
