Monday Morning Ready!

Good morning all. I know it’s been a while since I posted anything or read any blogs. My health has been my primary focus lately. Brain surgery in 23 days!! But, while I’ve been basically bedridden, I have been doing a lot of thinking.

I have a million ideas for projects, community involvement, books I want to write, and opinion pieces I want to write. However, my brain is total mush!

Any suggestions for organizing my thoughts and getting these projects underway? 🤔

Hurt People, Hurt People.

Do you realize just how difficult it is to come to terms with the fact that someone wasn’t truly who you thought they were? To find out that the person was lying or pretending the entire time? It’s a gut wrenching feeling to think that all the words they said that warmed your heart were nothing but bullshit. It’s a horrid thought to think that they were laughing behind your back the entire time. It’s embarrassing and hurtful and humiliating.

We need to do better, folks! We need to stop hurting people just because someone else hurt us! I have done it. I have been guilty of this myself. I have allowed my unhealed wounds to bleed all over another person. An innocent person. And it isn’t fair. I know that now. And even though I know better and try to do better, occasionally things slip past my radar and I am the one left covered in the blood of another person’s old wounds.

It hurts. It hurts like 10,000 knives ripping through my flesh, carving through my bones, on the way to my tender heart. Hurt people hurt people. Say it again, hurt people….hurt people. If you are hurting, please heal yourself. Stop allowing your open wounds to drip the misery onto a new relationship or interaction with someone that had nothing to do with your pain.

Struggling

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Hi everyone,

So, I’ve been working more on my book. Not nearly as much as I should be, to be honest. But I think I know why I have struggled with it so much. I really feel that the topic of the book is such a taboo subject, it may not be received well in certain groups. That frightens me! Majorly frightens me. But I have to get out of my comfort zone. I have to write the story that I have in my head (and heart) and get it out there. Who cares if it’s not for everyone? Who cares if I am judged for the topic of choice? Many authors before me have been judged for what they choose to write. Whether it’s fiction, non-fiction, fantasy, or otherwise.

I have to realize I am not writing for everyone. I am writing for me. I am writing because I have a story I want to tell. It is a healing process for me. A way to get the story inside of me out. And just because certain groups may not approve of the character or her motives, there will be some groups that will. This story may be what a lonely, broken soul needs to read in order to realize she is not alone in this world. Perhaps that is my purpose here on this Earth-to help others realize they are not their mistakes.

Back to writing…..have a great day!

~Kristen

Who I Want to Be

It’s no secret that I have made some terrible choices in life. But I’m trying to make the most of my time here on Earth. I have loved the wrong people, mistreated the good ones, and I have learned lessons from everyone.

I want to be the woman my parents brag about to their friends. I want to be the mom that my children are proud of. The mom that my children know will always be there for them no matter what. I want to be the friend that everyone says was always dependable, compassionate, and kind. I want to be the employee that gives her all at her job. I want to make a difference in the lives of everyone I meet.

I have been told recently, by more than one person, that I have inspired them to do more. To go back to college. To take that leap into the unknown. To write. To create. Whatever the case may be, I love that I inspire people. I love knowing that my words and my advice have lifted those people to the next level in their lives.

It make take me a while to become the woman I want to be. But I am well on my way toward that goal. Thank you all for always reading my work and giving feedback. I greatly appreciate those friends I’ve made along this journey.

From the bottom of my heart, Thank you.

~Kristen

What I Want

I want to hear a song on the radio and not cry.

I want to be able to drive down the road and not wonder if I’m going to see your truck.

I want to not be broken anymore.

I want to taste my favorite wine and not imagine your kiss.

I want to go to my favorite spot and not hear your voice whispering through the trees.

I want to not be broken anymore.

I want to watch the leaves change in Autumn and not be reminded of the day you said goodbye.

I want to feel the crisp, fall air and not remember how it had to dry my tears that day.

I want to not be so broken anymore.

I want to be able to walk with confidence again.

I want to be able to grocery shop without anxiety.

I want to not be broken anymore.

I want to know that you’re happy.

I want to know that someday I will be too.

~Kristen

08/08/2017

Thoughts… Of Memories

You creep into my thoughts.
Go dancing through my mind.
Memories of a used to be from an old forgotten time.
I can see that smile, and I remember those brown eyes.
The way they looked that night under a clear September sky.
I can’t forget you. No matter how hard I try.
I can’t believe you still control my mind.
Memories come flooding in when I least expect them to.
Then you’re all I see, everything is you.
That song on my radio. The stranger in the store. The southern breeze blowing in. I can’t take it anymore.

©2016