I am not okay. I have pushed myself too hard and too fast. I have tried pretending that I am okay and I’m not. I need to face that reality before I end up doing more damage to my already weak and broken body.
Fact is, I went through hell and I’m not allowing myself to admit that I need more time to recover from all of that. I am so proud of each and every accomplishment and brag about doing all the things. But doing things is slowly killing me.
I have hidden all of this so that I’m not a continuous burden to those around me. But I realize I’ve been too quick to tell everyone I’m fine. I’m not fine. Not even close. I’m weak. I’m tired. I’m falling apart.
So tonight I am going to allow myself to cry. I am going to allow myself to be human.