The hardest part of recovering from these surgeries is not knowing what is normal and what is not. I have no time-line to go by. I read several different things, most saying 18 months is the average complete healing time for MVD surgery. But what about 3 surgeries in 6 weeks!?
Each day I struggle with wondering if it’s going to be a good day or a bad day. I wonder if the beast will return or if this was all successful. I wonder how many “things” I can do before Brain says: NO MORE! Or before my body makes me rest.
So I limit the things and I listen to my body. But each day I am counting the number of “things” I do, no matter how small. Cooking, cleaning, showering (yes it’s a thing because it requires energy!). I congratulate myself for doing more things one day than the day before.
Eventually I will reach a day when I forget to count the things and I forget why I was counting to begin with. My body will eventually make it through an entire day without needing to rest. Eventually Brain will be better and will have forgiven me for the torture.
For now, I am patient with myself. I realize that my body has been through a very traumatic time and I deserve to give myself a break. Life will eventually return to some semblance of normal. It’s slowly getting there. But while I heal, I’m learning what is really important to me, what I want for the coming year, and what I hope to learn from this experience.